Cyberbullying: How to Recognise It and Help Your Child

What Is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is the use of digital technology, including social media, messaging apps, gaming platforms, and online forums, to harass, humiliate, threaten, or repeatedly harm another person. Unlike traditional bullying, it is not confined to the school gate or the playground. It can follow a child into their bedroom, arrive at any hour of the day or night, and reach a potentially unlimited audience.

Cyberbullying can take many forms:

• Sending threatening or abusive messages privately
• Posting humiliating photos, videos, or comments publicly
• Spreading false rumours online
• Excluding someone deliberately from online groups or games
• Impersonating someone by creating fake accounts in their name
• Sharing private images without consent (sometimes called image-based abuse)
• Encouraging others to pile on with hateful comments (pile-ons)
• Gaming-specific harassment, such as repeatedly targeting a player in online games

Research consistently shows that cyberbullying is disturbingly common. Studies across multiple countries suggest that between 20 and 40 percent of young people have experienced cyberbullying at some point, with girls statistically more likely to experience relational and image-based forms, and boys more likely to encounter aggressive or threatening behaviour.

Why Cyberbullying Is So Harmful

The harm caused by cyberbullying is real, serious, and sometimes long-lasting. Several features make it particularly damaging compared to face-to-face bullying:

• There is no escape. A child who is bullied at school can come home and feel safe. A child being cyberbullied receives abuse wherever they are, often at home in their private space.
• The audience can be enormous. A humiliating post can be seen by thousands of peers in hours, making the shame feel overwhelming and permanent.
• Content persists. Even if removed, screenshots spread. The fear that content is still circulating can be deeply distressing.
• Anonymity emboldens bullies. Perpetrators who hide behind anonymous accounts often say things far more cruel than they would say in person.
• Children may not tell adults. Fear of losing devices, fear of retaliation, and fear that adults will not understand or will make it worse can prevent children from seeking help.

Children experiencing cyberbullying are at significantly higher risk of anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, school refusal, and in serious cases, self-harm. It should always be taken seriously.

Recognising the Signs That Your Child Is Being Cyberbullied

Children often do not disclose cyberbullying directly. Instead, look for these behavioural and emotional signs:

• Appearing upset, angry, or distressed during or after using a device
• Becoming withdrawn, anxious, or unusually quiet
• Sudden reluctance to attend school or social events
• Unexplained changes in mood, especially after checking their phone or going online
• Becoming secretive about their online activities
• Avoiding discussions about what they are doing online
• Switching screens or closing apps quickly when you approach
• Loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy
• Sleeping problems or changes in appetite
• Avoiding or stopping use of devices suddenly (sometimes a sign they are trying to escape the bullying)

Any one of these signs has many possible explanations. But if you notice several together, particularly linked to online activity, it is worth opening a conversation.

How to Talk to Your Child About Cyberbullying

Approach the conversation with care. Your child needs to feel safe and supported, not interrogated. Try to find a relaxed moment and open with curiosity rather than alarm. Phrases such as "I've noticed you seem a bit down after using your phone lately, is everything okay?" or "I want to understand what you're experiencing online at the moment" signal that you are open to listening without judgment.

If your child discloses they are being bullied:

• Listen fully before responding. Resist the urge to jump to solutions immediately.
• Validate their feelings. Acknowledge how painful and unfair the experience is.
• Reassure them that it is not their fault.
• Thank them for telling you. Make clear that they did the right thing by speaking up.
• Ask what kind of support they want before deciding what to do. Older children in particular often feel distressed when parents take control without involving them in the response.

Practical Steps to Take

Preserve the Evidence

Before blocking or deleting anything, take screenshots of the bullying content, including dates, usernames, and any messages or posts. This evidence will be necessary if you report to a school, platform, or authority.

Block and Report the Perpetrator

On every major platform, including Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, WhatsApp, YouTube, and gaming services, there are mechanisms to block and report users. Blocking stops further direct contact. Reporting flags the account to the platform's moderation team for review. Platform reporting does not always lead to swift action, but it is an important step and contributes to moderation decisions over time.

Contact the School

If the cyberbullying involves peers from school, contact the school even if the bullying is occurring outside school hours and outside school premises. Schools in most countries have a legal or policy-based duty to address bullying among their students regardless of where it occurs, and most have established procedures for investigating and responding. Bring your evidence when you meet with staff.

Consider Reporting to Authorities

In cases involving serious threats, sexual content, or sustained harassment, cyberbullying can constitute a criminal offence. Contact local police if your child has received threats of violence, if images of a sexual nature have been shared without consent, or if the behaviour meets the threshold for criminal harassment in your country. Laws vary internationally, but many jurisdictions have legislated specifically against online harassment and image-based abuse.

Support Your Child's Wellbeing

Alongside the practical steps, focus on your child's emotional recovery. Maintain open communication, spend time together, and monitor for signs of anxiety or depression. If your child is struggling significantly, seek support from a school counsellor, your family doctor, or a child mental health professional. Many organisations offer specific support services for young people affected by cyberbullying.

If Your Child Is the One Cyberbullying

Discovering that your child is bullying others online is distressing, but it is important to respond thoughtfully rather than with punishment alone. Young people who bully online often do so because of their own social difficulties, peer pressure, a desire for status, or a lack of empathy that can be developed with support.

Talk to your child seriously about the impact their behaviour has on others. Restrict online access while the situation is addressed. Work with the school on a resolution. Consider whether your child would benefit from support to develop empathy and social skills. The goal is accountability and change, not just punishment.

Preventing Cyberbullying in Your Family

While you cannot guarantee your child will never be bullied or bully others, there are steps that reduce the risk:

• Build an environment where your child feels comfortable talking to you about anything they encounter online.
• Discuss respectful online behaviour from the time your child first uses the internet.
• Help your child understand that online actions have real consequences for real people.
• Know which platforms your child uses and keep up with how those platforms work.
• Encourage your child to stand up for others being bullied online, or at minimum not to participate in pile-ons.

Open, ongoing conversations about the online world are among the most powerful protective factors available. Children who know they can come to a parent without fear of losing their devices or being blamed are far better placed to navigate difficult situations safely.